Resources for Parents

The hyper-sexualized culture that our kids are growing up in is teaching and training our kids to be, think and act sexually at an earlier and earlier age.  In fact, there is a new marketing concept called KAGOY (Kids are getting older younger).  The impact that this is having on young boys and girls is a growing concern.  As parents, we need to engage with our kids in conversations that will help keep this in check and also will give them a healthier and more godly approach to their sexuality.  God is the author and creator of sex and of their individual sexuality.  He has given us clear guidelines about stewarding this incredible gift and we need to be delivering His message and His design of sex to our children.  If we don’t, the messages, the images and the expectations of our culture will lead our kids to believe that what they see and hear from the world is what is expected from them.

Read this article that was posted today with more on the fallout from the lies our kids are being told.

The powder keg of a porn culture.

1 Thessalonians 4:1-8 (NASB)

1 Finally then, brethren, we request and exhort you in the Lord Jesus, that as you received from us instruction as to how you ought to walk and please God (just as you actually do walk), that you excel still more. 2 For you know what commandments we gave you by the authority of the Lord Jesus. 3 For this is the will of God, your sanctification; that is, that you abstain from sexual immorality; 4 that each of you know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, 5 not in lustful passion, like the Gentiles who do not know God; 6and that no man transgress and defraud his brother in the matter because the Lord is the avenger in all these things, just as we also told you before and solemnly warned you7 For God has not called us for the purpose of impurity, but in sanctification. 8 So, he who rejects this is not rejecting man but the God who gives His Holy Spirit to you.



I get asked by parents all the time, “when should I start talking to my kids about sex?”  My answer is always, “right now.”  As much as I would love to say wait until they are 12 or 13, that is just way too late.  Our kids are growing up in an environment and culture that is constantly “talking” to them about sex.  If we aren’t talking about it too then our kids will assume that the messages they are getting from the world are truth.  We must be louder than those messages and pointing them to the Truth about sex; God’s purposes and God’s design.

Here is a link to a post that we (pureHOPE) did on Age Appropriate Talking Points.

Most parents express concern, if not a feeling of helplessness, about their kids’ use of technology, especially mobile devices.  This is for good reason, of course; for all the benefits, the tools at the disposal of the average teenager carry many risks and temptations, as articles like thisthis, and this document well.

While there are many steps parents can take to monitor, limit, filter, and deactivate with respect to devices and Internet access, the most important remains cultivating open and honest communication between yourself and your kids.  Nothing replaces an ongoing,
grace-based dialogue that addresses the topics of sex, technology, expectations, purpose, boundaries, and consequences, all in the context of honoring and loving God in our thoughts, words, and actions (Romans 12:1-2).

To that end, we’ve created a simple document–a safe-use agreement–for parents to use as a communication tool with their teens.  By reviewing and signing this agreement together, parents and kids can arrive at a meeting of the minds regarding the privilege of tech use, the expectations and duties surrounding that privilege, and the consequences of abuse of that privilege.  In taking this one, simple step and following it up with consistent dialogue, parents are taking a giant leap with respect to equipping their kids to walk with wisdom, discernment, and integrity in the sexualized, technology-driven age they are living.

I wanted to pass along some links about how to track popular songs, movies, and videos so you can be up-to-date on what kids are paying attention to. For thorough reviews of movies, music, TV shows, and games, check out Plugged In (run by Focus on the Family). And when you’re in doubt, Google it!



Online Videos

  • YouTube Charts – Browse most-watched videos for the day, week, month, or all time
  • YouTube Trends – Blog that tracks the latest trends in YouTube consumption

I want to thank everyone who came out yesterday to our last parenting seminar of the year.  We had a great turnout and some very lively discussions.  I would love to hear from those of you who came as a way to continue our discussions.  I would also love to hear from those of you who wanted to come but couldn’t.  The influences of our culture on our kids is huge.  Let’s be the voices that are louder.

I also want to say a special “thank-you” to our Next Generation staff that helped me put all of this together; Eric Davis, Chris Turner, Jason Ganze and Tracy Parlin.

Here are the resources that we distributed for those of you who were unable to attend.

Takeaways and Resources for VOICES


Dan & Jason discuss the Raising Truly Great Kids conference this past weekend

RTGK follow up podcast

This past Saturday Chase Oaks Church hosted the Raising Truly Great Kids Conference featuring Dr. Tim Kimmel and the entire Family Matters team.  What an incredible day of teaching and equipping.  There were more than 500 attendees who enjoyed some great humor, great fellowship and great insight into the challenges and privileges of parenting the next generation.

Throughout the day I heard from folks over and over about how great a day it was and just how incredibly useful and encouraging the information being shared was.  I would love to hear from you if you attended the conference about what the one or two things you learned from the conference that were most helpful to you by posting a comment here.

Also, I want to thank the team of volunteers who made this event possible.  We had a great group of servants who were helping out late into the night on Friday, up early on Saturday and stayed long after the conference was over.  THANK YOU ALL!!

We will be planning a follow up study using the Family Matters materials in the near future.  This will be a 10 to 12 week weekly study that will be open to anyone interested in going deeper.  Keep checking back with our blog to see when we will begin that group.

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